Memories of Yesterday
by Mistress Nika
Summary: Kagome, as a grown woman, reflects on her life as she makes her way to a special place, to visit someone extremely dear to her. ONESHOT


"Memories of Yesterday"  
  
~Disclaimer= don't own InuYasha. Do have claim on an InuYasha clone though! ^_^  
  
Summary: Kagome, as a grown woman, reflects on her life as she makes her way to a special place, to visit someone extremely dear to her.  
  
Snow fell lightly, blanketing Higurashi Shrine in it's soft radiance. The lovely trees had long since lost their leaves to Lady Winter's cold embrace. They bared their hard bark to any who would gaze upon them, callous and uncaring, but keeping the promise of a warm, green rebirth in the spring.  
  
A sad figure moved across the grounds like a ghost, longing for a world long since past. A young woman, dressed in miko robes. Her ebony hair fell gracefully on her back, moving with a slight swish back and forth as she strode onwards toward an unknown destination. Brown eyes that once held a fire greater than even the gods could imagine gazed absently out in front of her.  
  
Once. Once in a time when demons roamed the world and priestesses like herself fought to keep them at bay. Once, when a feudal fairytale had come true. Once she was something more. Something more than the empty shell she had become. Once she had fallen through time. Once she had met friends. Once she had loved and fought along side her love in a battle to save the world. Her world. Her everything. Her love. Her life. But all that was gone now, leaving behind a sadness and emptyness the likes of which could make the world sob outright.  
  
This beautiful young shrine maiden was no maiden. She was a woman of twenty-six. A woman who had seen terrible tragedys befall all those around her. A woman who had sought revenge. A woman who had killed, and in return had her soul ripped out of her beating heart, only to be replaced by the sadness and emptyness that filled her days.  
  
This silent, broken young woman was Higurashi Kagome.  
  
The cold snow soaked through her shoes and robes, turning her body into the very image of her heart. Frozen in time. Cold and damp with tears unshead, yet so many had poured forth from her empty, soulless eyes.  
  
The soft crunching of the snow did not reach her ears. Nor did the joyful cries of children, taking pleasure in the very substance which brought her grief anew.  
  
Stopping before a small wooden shrine, she lifted her left hand ever so slowly, as if all the world rested in her palm and she were afraid to drop it. Raising her eyes, she gazed longingly at the long untended structure. Pressing the palm of her ice-cold hand against the rough, uneven grain of the wood she let out a small sigh.   
  
A wind blew gently, stiring up the feathery snow, as well as old memories for the woman. Memories of a happier time when all was right with her world.  
  
*Oi! Wench! You're coming back and that's final!*  
  
She could almost feel his claws digging ever so carefully but firmly into her arm. Closing her eyes she could see one of her favorite colors: red. She could see herself trip and land in amongst that red. If she listened closely, the cold winter wind that whipped mercilessly around the small building would become the increased pace of their beating hearts as they stood flustered wrapped in each other's tentative embrace. Then came the flushed cheeks and hurried appologies. Next, the awkward silence broken by a rude comment and a certain magical spell.  
  
A faint smile briefly flitted across her crimson lips before disappearing back into the whirlpool of dispair she had grown so accustomed to. Opening her eyes, she looked at the door to the shrine, sealed by ofudas and boarded up with thick lumber against intruders of a less demonic nature. Removing her hand from the structure, she turned slowly to face the door to her home.  
  
Phantoms danced through the frosty air, bringing back even more memories once thought buried. She could see it so clearly, it was if she were watching it outside of time, she herself the phantom.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~sorta flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
InuYasha stands before an eighteen year old Kagome, nervously scuffing his feet in the cold snow both had chosen to ignore.  
  
"What is it, InuYasha?" Kagome asked curiously.  
  
"Well....I....uh...that is to say....um..." Here Kagome giggled at his nervousness and he grew slightly angry. "Damn it woman! I'm trying to tell you I love you and all you do is laugh!?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~end of the mini-flashback~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kagome remembered that day clearly. He always did have a way with words. She felt a bit of her young spark return at the memory, but it was quickly extinguished by the cold snow that blanketed her heart.  
  
Turning away from the scene of one of her greatest moments of happiness and back toward the frozen world she now lived in, she returned her gaze inward.  
  
It wasn't long after that before he had asked her to be his mate and she had happily agreed. Her life seemed perfect then. No more battles. No more monsters. She was free to be with the one she loved, for all time.  
  
Alas, Fate has a cruel hand. For it snatched away her chance at happiness, though she did indeed have many happy years with her love, her husband, her mate. Her InuYasha. Those blissful years could never be forgotten, and she prayed they never would be. She had lost everything she had cherished. Everything was gone. Only her duty remained.  
  
So much like the baleful priestess who had come before her, Kikyou. When all else was gone, when she was alone, all that was left was duty. She had a duty to maintain this shrine. She had a duty to protect her city. She was Tokyo no Miko, after all. The last of a lost people. The last of a dying breed.  
  
Raising her eyes once again, she continued on her lonely walk down memory lane. To the front of the shrine where the visitors bought charms and talismans from her grandfather before the task fell to her.  
  
Once again the phantoms returned. This time as a beautiful young woman of twenty-one, heavy with her first child. Her hanyou mate at her side, barely aged a day.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'nother flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A very pregnant Kagome, an extremely nervous InuYasha and an ever exuberant Jii-chan stood in the mini-shine, spring in full bloom. Jii-chan was trying in vain to convince a young child that InuYasha was not a demon and that his talismans actually worked. InuYasha had of course refused to cover his demon attributes and had remained clad in his fire-rat kimono.  
  
Suddenly InuYasha, growing impatient, bent over to stare the child in the face. He bared his fangs, growled and flicked his ears in annoyance before saying harshly, "Look! I ain't no demon! Got it!!?" To which the child nodded furiously, scared out of his mind. "Good! Now buy the thing or leave!" InuYasha summed up.  
  
At this the child tore off screaming across the shrine, down the steps and all the way home, sobing the entire time.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She almost chuckled as she remembered how her Jii-chan had clocked InuYasha on the back of the head hard enough to send him to the pavement...and successfully frighten off any other potential customers in the area. But then she remembered what day it was and her mood fell back into solemn reverie again.  
  
Continuing on, she knew it was time to say hello to him. She had to, or she couldn't bear another year apart.  
  
She turned and walked ever silent to the Goshinboku, the sacred god tree, that was the heart of the shrine. To her at least. That's where her heart rested. And where she would always return.  
  
Coming to stop at the tree, she remembered how she had once looked up to find happiness. But now she looked down. Down at a gravestone that marked the place where her heart rested. Not all off it, mind you. Just a great chunck that she couldn't seem to function properly without.  
  
'Oh, how I loved you.' she thought to herself. 'How we would laugh. How we would cry. How I held you and wiped away your tears, and in return you soothed the ache in my heart. I loved you as no other, and my heart, my soul is not complete without you. How I wish you could be here with me. Would you be surprised? Would you be sad? To know that I live on though hundreds of years have passed. Hundreds of years, for you and for me. Hundreds of years frozen in time. I know you would want me to live, to be happy and rejoice in what has come to pass. But I cannot. My heart yearns for you, breaking in two at every breath. Ripped down the center and tore asunder at the memories that are as a plauge, yet a blessing as well. I will never forget you, my heart. But heart's bleed. And a miko's heart beats with a powerful ferocity. A soul locked within an icy exterior and an even colder heart. I will never forget you, but as every year I come here, on the day of your death I realize that the sorrow I feel on this day must be dampened with loving memories. Memories that will always keep you close. And here I say, I love you, but I will live on. I will survive and I will remain strong.'  
  
Finishing her tribute to the lost piece of her heart, a smile once again graced her lips, and this time it did not vanish. She was at peace, and though a part of her was missing, she would continue on. There were others in this world who needed her and she would not fail them. She would give them love and understanding. And she would be there should they ever need her. But memories seldom fade forever, and never die.  
  
Oi! What are you doing down there?  
  
  
  
(1) Looking up she almost expected to see her hanyou, gazing at her with his golden eyes from the treebranch above. But he was not there. Only the faint whispers of the phantoms of the wind. Looking back down at the gravestone, she fell to her knees to sob out her sorrow one last time before her facade of the strong miko was forced to return.  
  
Bending over the stone, her tears falling on it to crystalize into tiny bits of ice, she sobbed, "Why!? Why did you leave me InuYasha!?"  
  
  
  
Oi! What are you doing down there?  
  
  
  
(2) Kagome looked up to find InuYasha perched in the tree, just as she remembered him. He remained the youthful, vibrant hanyou, though his body had grown and he matched her now in maturity. She favored her mate with a loving smile before looking back down at the tombstone.  
  
"Just remembering" she said.  
  
InuYasha leaped from his place on the bare treelimb, landing softly next to his mate. He didn't want to disturb her thoughts. He felt the weight of this day, just as she did. Following her example he gazed down at the stone and said gently, "We'll never forget him, my love. But there will be others. I promise."  
  
InuYasha wrapped his arm around his mate's waist and she leaned into his embrace.  
  
"Yes." she said softly. Then in a whisper, perhaps to the phantoms on the wind, she said, "I'll never forget you, my son."  
  
  
  
Oi! What are you doing down there?  
  
  
  
(3) Kagome looked up to the open window where her little brother, little no more, lay hanging half in and half out calling to her though the moaning wind creaping though the shrine.  
  
"Sis! What do you think you're doing down there!?" he called. "You're gonna get sick if you keep doing this every year! At least put some warm clothes on!!"  
  
Kagome, though a mature woman now, felt the need to laugh and stick her toungue out at her brother. So she did. After seeing Souta's eyes widen in shock at his elder, and supposedly more mature, sister's antics, she turned back to the gravestone to bid a final farewell before heading in the house.  
  
"I'll never forget you, and always love you." she said. "My love, my mate. My InuYasha"  
  
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(A/N) So? Which ending do you think really happened? Am I evil? Well, let's see. Why did I write this? Simple. I've been wanting to write something somewhat sad, but with my usual cheerful attitude it's rather hard. What changed? My grandfather died today. I wasn't really all that close to him, but my mother's pain got me in the mood to finally write this. I haven't talked to my dad yet, it was his father, so I'll probably be in the mood to write something like this again after I attend the funeral. I haven't seen my dad in almost two years, so I hope I come home in the mood to write more like this and not angry enough to write that "Anzu get's killed by jumping in front of a bus driven by a crazed sugar-high Bakura" fic I keep threatening to write. My dad and I don't get along. If you tell me which ending you prefer, I might consider a sequel! I like doing sequels! ^_^ So R&R!! Pweetty Pweezzee??? (puppy dog eyes) Oh and if there's anything you're confused about, just ask. I'll try to explain it...if I'm not confused myself! ^__^  
  
(A/N-2) Hey, I've decided to do a sequel or a prequel to this! Writers block has attempted to kill my "Angel Eyes" fic. (growls at the writer's block demon) Grrr! How dare you vile creature attack my most reviewed fic! I shall smite thee with the all mighty power of the pen! (goes insane and chases WBD *psst! that's Writer's Block Demon* around the house with a machine gun filled with sharp pens) (Kouga steps up) Kouga: Well, as she was saying before her sanity slipped away again... She wants to do a sequel or a prequel to this fic. But she needs you to tell her which ending is your favorite and if you would prefer a sequel or a prequel. She has ideas for both. She says that as it stands she is going with the first InuYasha death ending and making a sequel. If you don't want this, speak or forever hold your peace!  
  
(Nika runs up, now being chased by WBD who has taken her pen-gun and is shooting at her with it) Oh God HELP ME!!! Don't just stand there!! HEY!!! ARE YOU LAUGHING!!?? I'M SO GONNA KILL YOU, KOUGA!!!  
  
(Kouga doubles over laughing) WBD is two inches tall!! How can you have problems with it!?  
  
Nika: Yeah! But he can grow!   
  
(WBD demonstrates this by growing to be the size of Sesshoumaru's true form and flattening Kouga with a foot.)  
  
Nika: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! It's horrible!!! It looks like JAKEN!!!! (runs off)  
  
Kouga:@__@  
  
(Shippou and Miroku slip up silently, see unconscious Kouga)  
  
Miroku: Hmmm. Isn't this an interesting conundrum?  
  
Shippou: Hey, Miroku? I got a great idea! Let's strip Kouga and stick him in Kagome's bed. Then we can watch the sparks fly when InuYasha finds him!! ^__^  
  
Miroku: Hmmm. That's an interesting idea. (grins mischeiviously and grabs Kouga's feet, dragging him off with Shippou riding on his back)  
  
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Also I'd like to thank all those who have reviewed so far. You're wonderful and you are the ones who've made me want to write another along this plot line. Arigatou Gozaimasu!! 


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